Dolphins Can Butcher Their Food. Surprise!

Dolphins in Australia have been observed cleaning and deboning cuttlefish before eating them. This is the first time it’s been observed, but evidence has existed for years that shows the practice has been happening for, well, a long time.

So, what’s the explanation?

“‘It could just be that Australian dolphins are smart,” [Janet Mann, a behavioural ecologist at Georgetown University in Washington DC] says.’”

That might be the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard an alleged scientist say.

Of course they’re smart, you cow! Dolphins are smarter than we are, according to mathematical and electrical data, and lots of behavioral study, even if we can’t understand them. They understand our way of life much better than we understand theirs.

Look at their readily observable behavior: They play all day. They kill their food quickly and easily with efficient tools and techniques. They play some more. They hang out and show enormous amounts of affection toward each other. They play and observe a sporting event or two. More food. Then they rest.

I’ve wondered for years what could be better. And they haven’t destroyed or ravaged their environment. They haven’t organized en masse to defeat whole races of other dolphins. They might believe in a higher power, but it seems to be working out.

To be a scientist and condescendingly quip about the obvious intelligence of your subject is retarded, be it sea animal or land animal (i.e. manimal).

Shut her down.